Make it work!

Make it work: make good use of that stretchy, skin tight sheath dress.

There was once a time, not so very long ago, that bodycon dresses were all the rage. Short, simple, form-fitting and endless textile possibility: what more could you want? I breathe some new life into the dresses that are hanging in my closet right now as it's time for me to start wearing my Had to Buy items. We all know that Have to Buy's. They live on a sale rack in the back of your favorite inexpensive mall clothing store, usually something with a "Forever" in it (Rue 21, Forever 21...). Almost always less than 5 bucks, how can you pass up these sales?!?! Then the ridiculous item sits in your closet, unworn, depressed for months, years even! Most ladies probably have somethings (or things) that would fit this description.

My things are dresses:

 So I a putting a new spin on a bodycon dress! I chose my Marvel comic book print dress for this dress up party.


1. Duh, it's a frickin dress.

With: Journee collection blue suede booties, black skinny belt and blue croc wristlet

For: Going out for drinks with friends, clubbing, attempting to pick up a man

Why it works: This is the natural state of a bodycon dress in the wild. It roams in packs with those it can semi-blend in with, generally with a phone (using forward facing camera for ultimate selfie precision) and some type of fruity drink in the other hand. Also, the shoes are to die for and they coordinate fabulously with the wristlet. This dress has colors for days, so you can use a variety of accessories and still look put together.

2. Wait...it's also a frickin top?

With: Black wedge mules from Shoedazzle.com, L.E.I. black denim skinny capris and coral statement necklace. 

For: hanging with the b---hes, grocery shopping, running a marathon (for real, these heels are awesome)

Why it works: It's super comfortable while still being a bit more fancy, as it's dressed up with the lovely wedges and a large piece of jewelry, than a standard jeans-and-tee-party. The dress is short and thin enough that it can be comfortably tucked in to a waistband. I like to do the tuck and drape maneuver. 

3. Cool kid on the block

With: black strappy sandals and No Boundaries crochet tiered shorts

For: chillin. This is a very laidback outfit to do whatever you want in. But nothing too crazy because those sandals don't have a very think insole and you don't want to snag the crochet shorts on anything (never an issue I though I'd have)

Why it works: I love black with everything, and the dress has a fabulous print with lots of black outlines. Once again, the patented tuck and drape method at work.

4. Good outfits are like ogres, they have layers

With: beat to hell cardigan from Old Navy, black thigh high socks and brown faux-biker boots

For: making that dress work well into the rainy season, playing strip poker (please see layers comment above), running errands

Why it works: I always love a good cardigan, and this hem happens to hit very nicely on this dress. It is kind of one of the "I just threw this on and happened to look completely awesome" outfits that either work, or don't. It was a lucky chance.

5. Bring your geek to the workplace 

With: blue striped George shirt, black sateen BCBG Generation slacks and black pointed toe boots (mostly just because they are super long slacks and they need to be hemmed)

For: work! If your office allows dressy-casual this honestly would work. Also can wear for impromptu photo shoots in your bedroom.

Why it works: the dress doubled as a fabulous sweater. It is thin enough to lay comfortably over the button-up without adding too much bulk. I love these slacks, they quickly dress up a casual top and the lovely sateen material has a soft shine to them that really flatters.

That's What He Said...

I chatted with my younger brother, easily one of the top 4 most stylish guys that I know, and asked him some questions. He was more than obliging and did a good job giving me good quotes that he knew I would use (props, bro).

I will say that while my bro is awesome now, he, like all kids do, went through his fazes of being a fashion disaster when they start dressing them selves on the daily. My brother had a signature basketball shorts and turtle neck combo, always in the same color (I remember a red one specifically) with tall socks. Ahh, how far you've come, brother. 

This is an old pic, but look how adorable he is!

Timothy, 22

What kind of style do you like to see (on females)?

“I like clothes with form, I don’t like the long tee shirt, loose jeans look, I like something that has some figure to the clothing. Like a good tight waisted jacket that shows that a waist is actually there.”

What trends, or specific items, do you hate?

“I am not a fan of leggings. (Yup, you read that right) Any type of the ‘athletic’ variety of clothing I don’t like to see just walking around...like what if I was just walking around in compression shorts? Would that be okay? I know people say Oh, but they’re so comfortable, but you know what? Pajamas are comfortable but you don’t wear them to an interview.”

How do you feel about make-up?

“Only in moderation. Society tends to puts a big emphasis on ‘You’re not good enough, you’re not pretty enough like you are,’ and I don’t like that.”

What about high heels?

“High heels are good, they are kind of a time-and-a-place kind of a thing to me. I mean they do a lot for the leg, the muscle tension, but at the same time you don’t need to be wearing high heels at two in the morning to 7 Eleven to get a pack of cigarettes.”

Do you consider yourself “stylish”?

“I like to think I have some style, I’ve picked up a few things over the years.”

What does that term mean to you?

“The conscious recognition of when things look good as opposed to when they look bad.”

He then went on to describe a variety of horrid outfit options to me, including something about how a person should know if they look ridiculous, like Should I wear these plaid shorts and polka dot blouse with my sandals?

What’s your personal style?

“I am all over the board. My favorite outfit right now is: straight leg jeans, a sweater and a scarf. I dont even care what shoes I’m wearing. It could be cowboy boots, Nike flats, basketball shoes, flip flops, it doesn’t matter.”

He threw in one last comment:
“If I had the money to support the shopping style that I would like to have, I think I would be very stylish. I think you’d be very proud.”

Oh, baby brother. You just keep doing you and stay absolutely fabulous.

Let's Talk About

Let's talk about...rompers.

We have all seen this trend inexplicably stick around from year to year, laying dormant after September and reemerging with a vengeance in April the next year. There are varying opinions, from "Well, I was under the impression that those were intended for those of us who can't tie their own shoes yet" to "I would never consider wearing anything but a romper in the warm months". They are a statement piece, an edgy, risky garment and one to be worn with extreme care.

For those who have never tried a romper on, they are...well, kind of uncomfortable. They have a tendency to ride up where you don't want them to and to sag where you also would prefer that they didn't. Most rompers come in the tank-top-with-shorts-attached variety. They are also some with full length pants, some with sleeves from a puff to a full length. They range from sleepwear to the uber casual day walker to lady of the night. Let's examine a few...

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A lovely chambray two-fer with a full sleeve that was definitely intended to be rolled casually. Acceptable wear to: dinner with friends, a much needed shopping getaway or hopping in the car for an afternoon drive. Pair with: natural-toned wedges. 

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Another take on the same bolt of chambray cloth: a classic spaghetti-strap romper with a tie waist and a subtle button accent. Acceptable to wear: to a bowling alley, to an ice cream date, on the hottest day of June.

Pair with: roller skates and a pony tail.

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What you wear when you are trying to get away with wearing a damned romper to work without your boss noticing too much. A cute blazer can dress this up in a flash, while the side-ruching detail make it a little harder to pull off with Chuck Taylor's but hey, do what you want. Would also look *classy* with a colorful statement necklace and matching shoes.

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Now, these kind of rompers are the ones that get all the other rompers made fun of. They look similar to what they currently sell in the children's sections of most department stores and, in fact, may look just the same as one that you wore before you hit the 3rd grade. The ill-fitting waist, no matter how cute you are, will never look awesome and the loose, flowy fit makes it suitable for home wear only IMO. On a sidenote, I am generally not a fan of pieces in garish monochrome. I love items like rompers in neutral colors and lovely prints, like so:

I see these clothing items called many things: rompers, playsuits, bodysuits, sleep n' plays, obstructions of all that is holy, they go by many a name. In my trolling of the internet, I think that overall, I have a positive attitude toward these playful and fun pieces. They are a pain, they suck to go pee in and they must be worn correctly, but I know that personally, I am planning on buying one of these this year, even though I have tried on multiple over the years and always come up with enough reason not to shell out my hard earned dough on one. They (when worn correctly) ooze a sense of put togetherness, confidence and an underlying current of fierce female pride. I also think that, while many, many items can be worn by almost anyone in the right size with the right styling, these persnickety items demand a certain body type. These little beauties are not of a one size fits all variety. 

Wannabe Shopping Addicts Anonymous

I love to shop. I love walking around the mall-you know, when you can find one that has more than 4 stores open (outside of the food court). I love moseying down Main Street in cutesy tourist trap towns and walking into shop after shop after shop, always realizing that you should have waited until the next store to buy whatever you just bought because you found it for way less. I also love browsing online. Like a fiend.

This is something that my husband cannot at all fathom as he sees no point in trolling the internet looking at photos of things I will never purchase. I, however, find it therapeutic. Shopping online and browsing new sites alongside my tried and true favorites exposes me to new trends and styles. When I see cuts or hems that I haven't seen before, I take note of them and add the knowledge to my File of Generally Useless but Interesting Information. Prices have a tendency to be lower than in store. You can find specialty sizes more readily than in an average store and the variety tends to be much greater. I can take the time to closely look at pattern, design, detail without having the social anxiety monster come creeping up my back. Fashion apparel design has always been something that interests me to no end, thankfully the internet gives me limitless opportunity to see what designers are putting out in new groundbreaking trends, what's coming back around and how to restyle those gloriously worn basics. I consider browsing online to be an exercise in rationality, self control and style R&D.

Now of course nothing is perfect. The obvious drawbacks of online shopping are: A) If you suffer from Patience Control Problem, like me, you may find that you get a but down waiting for your item to arrive WHILE THE POSTMAN WALKS AROUND THE BACK OF THE POST OFFICE WITH YOUR BOX AND TELLS YOU THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE IT WHEN IT OBVIOUSLY SAYS SHOEDAZZLE ON THE SIDE AND WHO ELSE IN THIS TEENY TOWN ORDERS FROM THEM REALLY?????...ahem, and B) While pictures and sizing guides can be very helpful and in many cases can help you ensure that you are getting the quality product you wished for, there is no good alternative for being able to make sure those jeans aren't just  a tad too snug, for double-checking if the color of that top will sit well with your complexion or for slipping your foot into those heels just to practice walking around before you commit. Return processes with online companies can be tedious and generally require you to pay some additional costs. Despite the fact that it can be a pain, I still take so much pleasure in online shopping. Nothing beats getting your package freshly delivered form UPS and ripping through that gigantic cardboard box to the much smaller one inside with your wonderful purchases inside that (finally, just when you'd almost forgot that you ordered anything).

No matter the pros or cons, taking the mental break to browse Shoedazzle.com or one of the like is sometimes just what I need to reset myself. Nothing calms me down better than pages and pages of shoes.

The Week of the Red Lips

My cousin Rachel, Rey, would have just celebrated her 23rd birthday last week. She was fiery and quirky, fun and adorable and unique. She was also a red lipstick devotee. In a tribute of remembrance to her, I decided to pull her signature style and don the evocative red lipstick for a week straight.

When I spoke to my mom midweek about what I had going on, she said that she wears  red lipstick everyday. I asked her why and she said two things: 1. "Rey could do it everyday and look cute, so I don't see why I can't. I'm doing it for a year." and 2. "You told me that you hated the brown lipstick so I had to do something."

My lovely cousin via Facebook

Day One

Now, I am no stranger to red lipstick. Red lips to me resonate strength, self-assured and fierce. I sometimes shy away from buying the bright colors because I feel as if they are so difficult to upkeep...and I generally got equated to Nicki Minaj before I retired my signature pink. 

Please excuse the badass Aviators. Not.

For my first day of Red Lips, I reached for an old favorite of mine, Retro Red from Wet n Wild. Apparently I didn't realize precisely how old of a favorite it was until too late and ended up having to use a gloss over the top at lunch time for my parched lips. I always put my makeup on in my bathroom, then do a face check in the visor mirror of my car before actually going out into public. The difference in how makeup can look from in the house to full sun lighting can be appalling. I thought I looked all right, then I looked at myself outside. My first inclination was to blot most of my lipstick off and throw a nude shade over it. However, for the sake of...well I guess just because I told myself I was going gung-ho, I walked into work with my head held high and more red than I was accustomed on my lips. I got a few Really? sideways glances from some other women and a genuine compliment from a co-worker. "Is that a new lipstick you're wearing?" he says, "I like it!" Success.

Day Two

Different shade of red, a deeper color, less of a cheery red and more of a holiday vibe. Realized that I can't deal with the constant smudging and purchased a nude liner to try on day three. Also decided that new lip color was in order, for the sake of science.

The picture does it no justice.

Day Three

Purchased some new lip care items:

Lip liner by Rimmel in Nude

Hot Red (top) and matte Stoplight Red, both from Wet n Wild

Let me just say, for the record, that I love inexpensive fashion and beauty items. Yes, there are benefits to buying quality, long lasting signature items, or those basics that really make the difference, but anything under $5 naturally draws my attention.

I decided to try the Stoplight Red on day three, it claimed it was a "long-lasting matte finish lip color" so I wanted to put its staying power to the test. 

I was not driving when this photo was taken.

Also my first attempt at a faux bob, which could definitely have been more successful.

It seemed that the lip liner really did help keep the lipstick in place all day, so I decided that, going forward, I always need to wear the nude liner under a bold lip and I highly suggest it to everyone else! This lipstick did a great job of staying on my lips without smudging or fading horribly. I reapplied after about 4 hours and I was going strong through the day and into the evening. I also find that not having the slickness of a glossy product on my lips makes me less conscious of having so much makeup on. I like that this product is a mix between a stain and a lipstick. And all for less than $2.

I went to a dive bar with a friend that same night and we received quite a bit of attention. We weren't the only females in there and we certainly weren't dressed up and yet the icky hipsters and the boisterous, drunk middle-aged men alike were copiously complimenting. Did the red lipstick have anything to do with it? Maybe. I know that I certainly feel confident while wearing it.

Day Four

Tried my second new lip color, Hot Red by Wet n Wild with the wonderful lip liner underneath

To toot the horn of lip liner once again, I love that having the liner on makes the color even and smooth, it also helps fight the inevitable ring of color that circles the edges of your lips with the middle of the lip left without color at all, usually after drinking or eating or breathing for any extent of time.

I did ask my husband what he thought when I wear red lipstick, if he had any feeling towards it whatsoever. He said that he liked it better now that my hair is light. He hated me wearing bright lipstick when my hair was very dark, as it is naturally and prefers nude tones with the brunette. Now that I am rocking the blonde look, he said that he actually likes the way that the bold color looks. 

By this point in the week, I am now very comfortable wearing the lipstick for most of the day. I am having a lounging day at home, but I got up and got dressed, did my hair and makeup and am feeling really good (okay confession, I was supposed to go to a friend's house and something came up at the last minute, but I am home now and generally by this point I would have been back in my jammies). 

Day Five

Used the Stoplight Red matte color again. I didn't end up getting ready until much later in the day and didn't want to have to reapply. I was doubtful about the red with my casual teal baseball sweater, but the colors didn't clash horribly. I feel a new favorite emerging...

Went to dinner with the hubby and kids. Was definitely getting the eyes, so I'm thinking I was rocking the red lip pretty hard. Not sure if it's because I tried this new adorable and super simple up-do (since I'm normally so lazy with my hair) or the bright red lip with a sweater and jeans, or a combination of both but I was feeling fabulous! I even got some extra smiles from the guy in the store; once again, red is a confidence booster! 

This is my fabulous lipstick after hours of wear, including dinner and drinks. Not too shabby, eh?

Day Six

Okay, so I forgot to take a picture on day six with the exception of this one

which kind of looks like a butt. The purpose of this picture was to show how crappy my lips were looking after a halfway through the day (see gripe on day four). 

I was hating my lipstick all day on day six. I wanted to throw in the towel and give up on it. Alas, I did not as I had promised myself that I would finish my first week-post fully, man was I missing my bare lips though. Moving on to The Final Day.

Day Seven

Rocked my Sensual Golden Lioness hair to work and was feeling awesome. Took the terrible day in stride feeling confident, cool...and a bit grumpy. However, I was glad it was the last day of wearing my lovely, tedious lipstick.

I would say that I love wearing ravishing shades of red. They are a pain in the ass to maintain and can be difficult to find colors that are suitable, but overall I love my red lipstick. Would I wear it every day? Heck no, techno. I like being able to vary my makeup looks beyond shade differences. I became very conscious of actually making it a point to get up and do my makeup every day, which is out of the norm for me. It made me toss out my laziness for a week in that department and it made me have to spend at least 10 minutes caring every day. 

Red lips still speak confidence to me. I found myself feeling more confident, more put together, and in turn receiving more attention. I wouldn't say "attention" of any sexual nature, but more I commanded consideration. 

Thank you, red lipstick, for helping me to feel powerful and thank you Rey, for inspiring me.

Healthy Vanity

Healthy vanity: do I think I'm too cute?

 I saw the term "healthy vanity"...somewhere, I can't remember. Anyway, I saw it and it made me think of, well, myself, of course! I am not obsessed with myself, but I do think that I am not too shabby at all. I love my features and even with the imperfections that I notice (more than anyone else ever would) I wouldn't change a (permanent) thing. I just recently went from deep brunette to a goldenish blonde and I love it! I like the way that I look and as I find myself taking note of my appearance more and more, I was afraid that I was teetering over the line of being overly "healthy" in my vanity.

I'm sorry, but I had to.

    
    "Vanity" as described by Dictionary.com is:

noun, plural vanities.

1.

excessive pride in one's appearance, qualities, abilities,achievements, etc.; 

character or quality of being vain; conceit:

Failure to be elected was a great blow to his vanity.

2.

an instance or display of this quality or feeling.

Now, what makes one's pride "excessive"? 

I am looking at the term "healthy vanity". With the huge surge of body positive images, campaigns, advertising and media that have washed in recently, women are (sort of) being told to love the way they look and not to give a damn what the world thinks. 

Please see anything about the 2015 Met Gala if you haven't yet for a little dose of some body positive fashions. Women young and old, thick and thin, hairy and smooth, are throwing their negativity and self-doubt to the wind and it's amazing.

The question that I pose is this: what is the line between narcissism and healthy vanity truly? Is it really okay to think of yourself highly? How many is too many selfies?

I won't get into the real body dysmorphic and psychological issues that plague some people, I am looking at a general, day to day normality of an acceptable amount of self love. Some may say that of course you can't love yourself too much, but I beg to differ there. Ever heard of Narcissus?

There is much to be said of humility and modesty. They are traits that are treasured in anyone who possesses them. However, walking the fence on this one: how can you love others if you don't love yourself? Not to get terribly deep, but you have to see yourself as worthwhile and important for others to see you as such, and you generally have to know love to give it. It's kind of like how you have to be pepper sprayed in order to carry it; you have to know how it feels.

I think that the idea of "healthy vanity", while maybe still relatively "new" is so empowering and provocative. It's okay to think you're pretty. It's okay to enjoy compliments. It's okay! Treasure yourself, because if you don't why should anyone else?

"but what do we say when we clean up after your ass?"

I also want to say that wearing makeup does not make you any more vain than anyone else. Actually, so what if it does? I know that I now put makeup on more days then I don't, not because I am terrified to be seen without it, or because I need it per se, but because I like the way I look with it on and I really enjoy the act of "putting on my face". I don't personally do a terribly full coverage of makeup like some choose to, but I do like looking smooth and even and fresh. 

All in all, I want to say THANK YOU to the companies that push the body positive movement, like Dove, even if they do trick you into paying that pink tax. THANK YOU to celebrities like these lovely ladies:

Are you "pretty"? Yes! Am I? Yup. You be whatever you want to be and love yourself while you're at it, and I'll leave you with this:

Say in mirror 3x daily. Repeat as necessary to gain full effect.

And look fabulous while you're at it.

Make It Work!

8 Ways to Wear One Top
Playing dress up: how to make anything work with everything.

For my first try, I chose a rather simple piece: my white asymmetrical hem peplum tank. 

I chose this top for two reasons: 1) the silhouette of the piece is a modern classic, however I don't see enough of it and the cut of the piece, while being trendy, makes it potentially problematic in wearing attractively and 2) I already had it on.

1. "I'm not a normal mom, I'm a cool mom"

With: purple classic cardigan with navy trim by Old Navy, denim skinnies by Rue 21, fabulous everything-you-could-need-to-carry-bag (similar style, from Walmart US) and Faded Glory sandals. 

For: errands, coffee dates, etc
Why it works: it's the little update, the replacement of the standard tee or tank, that gives you a put together feel

2. Fabulous and Comfortable AF 

With: skinny waist-accentuating belt and black clutch (both Goodwill steals), patterned skinnies from Walmart (here's another cute pair) and awesomely comfortable wedges from shoedazzle.com
For: Getting a drink with the girls,going to lunch at that restaurant you've both been driving past for weeks, looking amazing in general
Why it works: the skinny belt pulls all the black accessories together and make the pants the standout piece of the outfit

3. Perfect for Spring and anything in between

With: lightweight khaki scarf, high-waisted black button front shorts from Rue 21 and strappy woven wedges in neutrals 

For: almost anything you want, shopping, hanging out, going to the movies, I'm pretty sure I could hike in these wedges

Why it works: it's comfortable, fun, versatile, the shorts look playful while adding a put together feel and the scarf and shoes work together to add a softer vibe

4. "If I must work then I will do it looking fabulous"

With: patterned eternity scarf, black 3/4 sleeve blazer, black pencil pants and  heels, courtesy of Goodwill

For: work, a meeting, exuding power

Why it works: this outfit could go so many ways with simply putting on or taking off one item, the look is simple and classic, yet it gives the air of...well, being a boss 

5. IDGAF I tramp when I want to

With: lace patterned body-con mini and blue suede booties

For: going out dancing (NOT alone though)...I can't think of anywhere else I would ever wear this 

Why it works: the only reason this could work is because it's a neutral top, however, look how long and lovely the stiletto booties make my legs look!

6. For the Classic Babe

With: goldtone bracelet, black clutch, black floral jacquard skirt from Rue 21, wide band belt and black fringed flats with goldtone accent 

For: something fancy-like Applebee's, weddings, church

Why this works: this is quintessentially an outfit that no one could ever be embarrassed to be seen with you in, it looks clean, sophisticated, timeless and ultimately appropriate

7. Anything Looks Good with Black

With: black casual skinnies and black sporty flats

For: everything that falls in the range of "casual", also impersonating Miley Cyrus

Why it works: Any neutrals work with any neutrals, adding the sporty flat gives you some balance and play when paired with the could-be dressy peplum top

8. "You think it doesn't work...but it does"

With: American flag print shorts and brown leather faux biker boots from Walmart.com

For: fair-going, watching the races, Summer BBQ's

Why it works: anything can work with the right attitude

What I Wore

Day off outfit. I love the casual peplum tank, it's so versatile. The asymmetrical hem makes it flirty and fun. These jeans are actually longer, I've done an inverted cuff to get them at the ankle pant length. I love that length with sandals like these-simple, timeless and multi-functional (I need a new pair this spring).  And this bag-this bag is fabulous! It is admittedly a touch large for my tiny frame, but nonetheless, awesome. It fits my laptop, wallet, phone, diapers, wipes and two extra outfits! Not too dressy, but also not too casual. Good to run errands, hang with friends, looking put together and still comfortable. For wishy-washy weather like it was today, I keep my tried and true purple cardigan handy.   

Why Do I

Why do I...get my nails done?

I am a mother and a wife. I work full time to provide for my family. When I work, my hands have a tendency to get destroyed (anyone that has worked with freight will understand). Within the space of one shift, my nails are generally demolished, no matter how many coats of top polish that I put on or how long I patiently wait for them to dry. However, having my nails done appropriately (generally meaning a full set of gel nails for me) makes me feel more confident. I know that I am the type of person that does take note of minor details, like a person's shoes, or their hands, or if they try a new hairstyle out. Having nail polish that is over half peeled and cracked off makes me feel truly insecure, as if everyone is judging me. As I type it out, I see how utterly ridiculous that it to jump that far, but nonetheless it drives me insane. Having bare nails makes me feel like an unwilling nudist.

I recently started going to a new nail guy with a close friend of mine and I have to say, I know that there are lots and lots of fabulous and important things to put your money towards, but I do not regret getting my nails done. I've been twice now and I love having my lovely nails on every morning when I wake up. My hands look pretty and professional. My fingers look long and delicate. My wedding ring doesn't look as if it's out of place on some raucous teeny-bopper's digits. Above all things, it makes me feel feminine and I treasure that. It's not that I have difficulty in that department generally, I'm not a tomboy by any means, but I do love the feeling of being a precious, beautiful flower of a woman.

Nails by Brandon Tran

Getting my nails done is also the one of the only things I do only for myself. They are the only thing that I consistently spend money on just because I like them. It's a gift to myself. Not because they are necessary by any means, not because I am rolling around in cash and need somewhere to give it to. Just because I think that I am important enough to pamper myself every 4-6 weeks.

Also, it is so much more satisfying to flip someone the bird when the light makes your glitter tips flash in their face, isn't it?

Oh no she didn't!...Yes, yes I did.

What do you do only for yourself?